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Why You Feel Disconnected From Your Kids

Have you been feeling disconnected from your kids lately? This can be a frustrating situation sometimes…and don’t worry – you’re not the only one who feels this way! Maybe you feel like your kids are looking down at their cell phones instead of you. Now, hear us out – when it comes to connecting with your kids, there’s the “easy hard” and the “hard easy”.

The “Easy Hard” and the “Hard Easy” Communication

We’ve got into the “easy hard”, which is doing the easy thing that appeases our family dynamics. However, this leads to a lot harder problems down the road. (And we’ve all been guilty of doing that as parents at some point!). Our Legado Co-Founder Rich Christiansen provided advice to think about when raising your kids and creating open communication channels:

“When my wife and I were first married, we felt so passionate about not dorking up our kids. We actually pushed a little bit and were on a path that was causing more damage than good. 

We had a hard interruption that occurred several years into our marriage that caused us to dramatically shift our perspective. Here’s the conclusion of what we came through; the importance of setting your values early, getting really clear on what your values are.” 

Setting Family Values

We’ve had many conversations with parents living very publicly happy lives, but underneath are concerned that their child may be getting bullied and not talking about it. When you feel disconnected from your kids, you begin to wonder if they’re involved in forms of really destructive behaviors, drugs, entitlement, and more.

The key to boiling these situations down and creating open communication is setting your values, and then placing them throughout path experiences that will allow the children to develop the values you’ve set. 

In today’s world, many parents expect their kids to naturally develop values. We’re very deliberate in setting values in businesses, we’re very deliberate in setting values in religious organizations, even in educational institutions, but in our families, we miss the beat. 

The questions you should ponder are these: Are you deliberately setting values in your family? Do you know what your family values are? Most importantly, do your children know what family values are?

This is a simple little way that you can viscerally start connecting with your kids, take an interest in your seven-year-old and what they’re doing, or just simply start the flow of communication with anyone in your family. 

Start that connection of the heart again and start rebuilding and mending maybe some of the bridges that you have maybe inadvertently damaged, or maybe they have damaged. In either case, it really boils down to this. They deeply need to belong, but also you deeply need to belong in that family should be a safe structure where you can do that. And that all starts with communication and caring and bonding together as a family.

The Communication Cheat Sheet

To help you get started on connecting with your kids better, we’ve provided you with our “Secret Communication Cheat Sheet” HERE to download! It only takes 10 – 15 minutes to complete, but you’ll feel a huge breath of fresh air when it comes to communicating clearly and articulately with your children. 

Remember to listen, set the cell phones aside, and be patient! Practice makes perfect when it comes to family communication. 

We’re going to talk over the next several series about methods that you can use to reconnect with your kids. Make sure to subscribe to our email list for the next blog in our Communicate and Connect Series! Visit our home page here: 

Download the "Secret Family Communication Cheat Sheet"

Building family legacies is all about strengthening the family bond and communicating in an open and productive manner.

The Secret Family Communication Cheat Sheet aims to do just that.

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