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How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles

We found this video that’s about the connection between your childhood and love styles; and it was too good not to share! 

Now, if you haven’t heard of Psych2Go…you will thank us later! This channel is full of personal and family psychology videos that are educational, thought provoking, and mind opening.

The specific video we wanted to highlight today is titled “How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles.” 

Growing up, you probably didn’t notice that each day over the 6,574 days that you’re under the guardianship of your parents you are learning how to love, how to be loved, and your adulting standards are modeled on your parents’ styles of parenting. 

Every moment during those 6,574 days, you are soaking in who you will become and how you’ll treat others, especially for when you have a family of your own to love one day.  

So without further ado, let’s dive into the video! Enjoy the 6-minute video, then come back here where we share how you can create a home where you demonstrate the type of love and connection to your children that you wish you had growing up. 


Pretty thought provoking how something so subconscious can affect your adulthood so profoundly, isn’t it? 

Do you resonate with any of these 5 love styles? Just like values and anti-values, there might be some love styles that you resonate with, but that you don’t want your children to experience. 

The next question is “What is the root of all these love styles?” One commonality is that they’re all value focused (which, if you’ve been a frequent reader of our blog, you know is one of our favorite topics). 

Having established values is key to a successful family culture. Check out the combination of love styles with values below: 

The PleaserValue: Avoiding uncomfortable conversations, putting others’ needs first 

The Victim – Value: Compliant, calmness is not good 

The Controller – Value: Toughen up, take control, ridgid 

The Vacillator – Value: Fear, abandonment, misunderstood 

The Avoider – Value: Independence, put your feelings on hold, detachment   

Not all of these values are negative, and there are probably a few that you would love for your kids to exemplify. But HOW they’re learning these values and HOW they’re showing up is the big difference. 

Setting your values is an easy activity to show your family’s culture and how you want to identify. Setting your 6 – 10 values will put you on the right track to creating a love style that you and your kids will be proud of. 

So what NEW love style do you want to set for your family?